Emotionally Focused Therapy: What Exactly Is It? And How Can It Help You?
In an intimate relationship, there are two main focuses. The first is to maintain the connection, and the second is to manage the conflict.
Neither can be accomplished without you having some sort of deep attachment to your partner. Time, stress, and responsibilities all have a tendency to chip away at this attachment. Reclaiming your closeness with your partner can prove to be difficult. Furthermore, this relationship challenge isn’t only reserved for couples. Families also face the difficult feat of staying close and connected to one another. When the gap between you and your close relationships seems to widen, there is a way to bridge it.
Emotionally focused therapy or EFT can act as that bridge.
What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Referring back to both the attachment and bond required for any intimate relationship, emotionally focused therapy bases its premise on exactly these two things. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short-term treatment that can help couples gain a greater insight into their unhealthy patterns while deepening their sense of intimacy and strengthening their bond.
Emotionally focused therapy, like the name implies, takes a closer look at emotional patterns that might develop because of one basic fear—the fear of abandonment. But rather than exploring trauma or wounds from the past, EFT is an active and real-time sort of therapy. It examines your current relationships and the behaviors therein.
Emotionally focused therapy can help couples and families create secure and lasting bonds that bring a unique closeness. In addition, it offers you the chance to reclaim intimate bonds that have been weakened.
How EFT Works
Emotionally focused therapy dives into the here and now. Like mentioned before, it operates in real-time rather than past experiences such as childhood trauma. What this means for you is that a therapist skilled in EFT will facilitate the unveiling of negative patterns and behaviors in your current relationship.
You and your therapist will accomplish this primarily through talk therapy. Basically, you or you and your partner will talk about situations that have impacted your relationship. You’ll share how you felt, what you did to resolve the conflict in the situation, and how the situation turned out.
During a session, your therapist will observe the dynamics between you and your partner (or family members). They will then connect the dots according to what you’ve already told them about your relationship troubles.
Once your therapist identifies areas of concern, they will also search for the origin of that concern within your relationship. For instance, a specific circumstance could serve as an origin for a problem. The next step will be to formulate a strategy to better approach these areas in the future.
What It Can Do For You
Emotionally focused therapy can help you reclaim your connection with loved ones. Through vulnerability and a commitment to change, EFT can support a new way of functioning within your relationships. It can identify the bad habits and behaviors that have put a wedge between you and others.
In your marriage, you can once again feel close to your partner. Things like everyday interactions will take on a new meaning. Even sexual intimacy will have a deeper impact on the both of you.
In both your marriage and family relationships, it will easier for you to talk about sensitive topics. For instance, some topics that often present a problem include finances, raising children, careers, and even household duties. For years to come, you will be able to approach these complex matters in life differently.
If you’re ready to take the step towards reclaiming the bond you once had with your loved one, please reach out to me. I would like to help you bridge the gap in your relationship(s) so that you can live a happy and satisfied life.